Friday, May 15, 2009

Depressed

The following is full of crap. Just ignore my ranting as per usual.

I was depressed when I went to bed last night. I don't know why, but probably because the time of the month is probably round the corner. =.= Ass. Anyway, why is it that nothing I plan turn out the way I want it/them to be? Like my birthday party for example. It was totally a big FAIL. I meant the chalet thing, not the family bbq. I totally hated the fact that no matter how much I tried my best, people did not turn up. Especially people who said they would. Like wth. I know I don't have many friends, which is another FAIL in my life. Seriously, can your number of friends be lesser than mine? I have possibly only ONE GROUP of friends. And that's a total of less than 10. Seriously. How pathetic can I get? While I was wallowing in self-pity last night, I so totally broke down. Like wth. Anyway, I thought it was also due to the fact that the 2 biggest of my less-than-10 pillars of strength was not in Singapore, and also I didn't get to talk to them yesterday night too. I need to freakin' keep sane man. Woman I know you'll land at midnight, but can't your plane like land now? Like nao. And please don't bloody get quarantined. I'll skin you, I promise. And I was also worrying that somebody might have had bought the same damn thing as what we (Eueu and I) bought for Shan. If that happens, I'm going to stab that person. I hate my life sometimes. Why is it that everyone's birthday parties are like so nice? I'm so upset. And I didn't get many pictures taken too. I didn't even dress up/wear a dress. Ugh. If only I can redo this thing again. Probably not, because I bloody hate planning, hoping, then get disappointed. Fuck. I'm damn upset. But not that I'm not grateful for what my family did for my birthday, just that why was I so damn stressed out planning for my birthday yet I see many blogs where people just bloody breeze through and have a good time? I think if he wasn't there that night I would've just shrunken up and died. And not because I didn't enjoy myself when the girls and I were alone in the house playing Pictionary and all those games, but well, I'm a freakin' perfectionist and I totally would like everything to be a dream. I'm never going to plan a birthday party ever again. If you want me to have a party, just go plan me a surprise party man. At least I don't have to lift a damn finger.

Don't mind me, I'm just being emotional. =.= It's been so damn long since I last posted something like that.

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